Embarrasing masturbation

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Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a [fapping] hand has come out and taken yours. So read on with that in mind: Every one of these stories is exactly why we, as humans, took over planet earth.

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When you break down masturbation to its basic elements—privacy, a little bit of inspiration, some elbow grease, and hopefully a modest cleanup routine—there's obviously nothing to be embarrassed about. As something of a public service, VICE asked several self-identified self-pleasurers to share their most embarrassing masturbation stories. Because whether or not you consider yourself skilled in the area of dialing the rotary phone, shakin' the bacon, or whatever euphemism you prefer, you probably didn't start out as a masturbatory pro.

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This post is part of Mashable's Masturbation Week. May is National Masturbation Month, so we're celebrating by exploring the many facets of self-love. Look, we've all been there.

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Please make sure that you are posting in the form of a question. Please enter a question. Skip to main content. Sold by Fatfinds

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That being said, sex can also be one of the most awkward things Yep, I think it's safe to say we've all managed to embarrass the hell out of ourselves while getting down and dirty with people. If those hilarious, hot and steamy stories made you feel a lot better about your own sex life, you'll be glad to know sex struggles don't always have to involve two people rolling around in the sheets.

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Was 13, saw the pubes of a year-old maybe even older woman, went into the bathroom and spanked the monkey. Not proud of myself…. Hear me out: I worked in a restaurant for a few years, and we had to make pizza dough and cut it into small g portions and rolling them into balls of dough.

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We askedand did you ever answer! We learned about the many uses of a teddy bear, the perils of faulty locks and "an excellent way to get rid of undesirable roommates. Grin and Bear It.

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Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. Masturbation is frequent in both sexes and at any age. Various medical and psychological benefits have been attributed to a healthy attitude toward sexual activity in general and to masturbation in particular.

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A reminder that you should always make sure that your door is locked. While in the heat of things my grandmother busts through the door to tell me that dinner is ready. I guess she drew the conclusion that I was only naked because of the heat and apologized that it was so hot in the house, and that the repairman was going to be there shortly.

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Thank you for your honest question. Because of the intensity of the feelings here, you might want to seek out a therapist or counselor to sort out why you feel such strong self-loathing after masturbating. I would wonder, if you or someone else were to bring this issue to my office, if the voice of criticism might in fact exist before the act, and thus create a need to feel good in a way that is self-activated.

Comments

    4 thoughts on “Embarrasing masturbation

  • Aryan 30 days ago

    i think this is the best pounding she got

  • Bodie 10 days ago

    Could've been better without the rabbit fucking, hate that, reminds me of a chihuahua midna handjob

  • Jay 8 days ago

    Alura can drain my balls anytime!